just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
