He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
