im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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