She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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