just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
