So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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