i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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