the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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