Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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