I just saw a hot homeless man
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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