Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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