didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why did my mother make you get naked?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
