Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize