Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need moral support for this bender
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
