When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
