you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
