If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
