First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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