I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
