there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
