..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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