please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize