Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize