I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
