I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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