You really coming over, don't trick.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
