R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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