I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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