Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
