Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize