Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
