I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you win again, gameday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
