Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
