I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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