My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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