JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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