i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
