The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
