There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
