I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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