Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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