The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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