The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
