do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
