I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize