We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i've created a new STD.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
