My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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