Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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