I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
