Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
