dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
