I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is Oprah even human
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
