I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
