We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize