i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
