ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize