When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
