This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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