No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
