great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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