At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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