what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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