would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
