he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
